small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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