who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
