I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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