Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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