You work out of a Hotel?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
