I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize