I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
