Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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