i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
