I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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