She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
