i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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