I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
