But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
