Sry I called you an 8
I wish my penis had an off switch
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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