Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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