I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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