The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
