The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
