I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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