The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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