Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
