I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
