Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
