I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just pee around me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
