so explain again why im purple
no
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
