Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I understand Curling. That high.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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