then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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