Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize