i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
MIDGETS
????
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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