just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I stole a fireplace last night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
