buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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