dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
