i just made my gag reflex go away.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
