After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
