Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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