so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
