at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
