I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
