if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
