I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
