I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
