she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
