More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
