Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
