Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
