a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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