Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
