i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
