i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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