i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
