So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
