so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So squirting runs in the family.
This is the high leading the old right now
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
