Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
