Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
