do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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