dude i'm inner monologue high
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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