Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
