omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
