There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
