i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
