How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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