I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
