"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
from now on my penis is your penis
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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