With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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