I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
