...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
