I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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