Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
