So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
