Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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