There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
