Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
