Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
