I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
