oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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